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family violence and children
For children, exposure to family violence occurs not only by seeing it, but also by hearing it from another room, seeing bruises on caregivers and seeing destroyed property. Some changes you may notice in your child include feelings of "numbness," guilt, anger, helplessness or sadness. Some behaviors to look for in your children include excitability, clinginess, aggressive behaviors with family and friends, nightmares, withdrawal, taking care of parent, loss of energy, school problems, lack of trust, and changes in sleep and/or eating patterns. Please contact the Child Outreach Coordinator at 974-5037 with any questions concerning your child.
The Experiences of a Child Living in a Violent Home
Danger: Often children are the intended victim of one or both parents. Other times children get caught in the middle and are hurt or killed "by accident."
Chaos: The children may never know what to expect at home. Their parents' moods can change
instantly from loving to enraged.
Fear and tension: The daily anger and violence create a living nightmare for the children, who may
grow up being afraid of everything and trusting no one.
Confusion: Children often receive mixed messages. For example, at school they learn that hitting is wrong, but at home they learn that hitting is used to "solve" problems.
Isolation: Often an abusive parent shuts off the family from the outside world, and the children may
withdraw from their friends and other adults as well.
Hopelessness: Children may blame themselves for the violence but feel powerless to prevent, stop or escape from it.
Development of a "Love/Hate" Relationship with Parents
- Children may feel protective of an abused parent. But they may also resent him or her for not
stopping the abuse.
- Sometimes children may feel close to the abuser. Other times they may hope he or she goes away
or dies.
- Children may feel guilty for not being able to rescue their family or for loving someone who is
abusive.
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